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Marriage Growing Pains

What do you picture when you hear the word "Marriage"?


Here is a little background on our marriage: I married my husband Larry at age 22. We met in September 2015 and we were married, yes married, 3 short months later, in December!! We honestly had no clue what we were getting ourselves into, needless to say I wouldn't trade him for the world but running off and eloping probably wasn't the smartest decision we've ever made. We were expecting our first child "Lillian" by March 2016!! Sheesh! I know what you're thinking!
(This is a judgement free zone.)

The biggest lesson learned thus far has been learning how to love and respect him. This is something I work at everyday. The honeymoon phase quickly came and went for us and I'm positive we aren't the only ones! I soon missed the way he would place his hands at the lower part of my back and lead me into our room. I wanted to continue to feel the excitement from the anticipation of his touch. I found myself constantly complaining. I began begging for attention between football practice, film, and his relaxing time. I finally realized we both lacked balance during this season. I stopped trying to have it my way and focused on discovering "our" way.

"People think that they are requesting a change from their partners when they are doing nothing more than complaining. Complaints turn people off and build resistance. They don't spark a spirit of cooperation." -Michele Weiner-Davis

Bring it back to the basics. Always keep your channels of communication open, complaining does not work as a strategy.

I truly love seeing newly engaged and married couples on social media because they have that beautiful GLOW, elaborate weddings, and perfect GLAM, ladies you know exactly what I'm talking about!! I found myself having wedding envy which is totally not me! It's hard with all the expectations we live with these days, constantly comparing our marriage to the next.

This made me realize that if I kept feeling this way I was never going to be happy until I loved my husband for who he was and where our marriage stood at that moment. This is where I learned that even the smallest good deed is better than the greatest intention.

I get caught up in trying to balance out school, work, being a mom and a wife, that sometimes I completely forget about my husband. I'm still in the process of trying to find a happy medium between them all but here are some of the steps in an action plan I have put together:
  • Create a Calendar that Everyone can Access, Stay Organized 
  • Date Night, Keep the Spark Alive Ladies 
  • Find the Positive in all Circumstances 
  • PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN (this one is HUGE)
  • Have Fun Together
I know what you're thinking, these are much easier said than done! This isn't going to happen overnight, set goals and be realistic with your expectations. Marriage to me is to try and try again. Do not lose your identity and purpose in the process. One rule of married life: it's better to be happy than to be right.

When in doubt, pray on it.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
1Peter 5:10


I'll end this with a little marriage humor!

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. 
         Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Feedback:
How do you keep a healthy marriage?
What strategies are you using to keep your household balanced? 

What do you picture when you hear the word "Marriage"?


What am I missing here? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it in!


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